In an unprecedented, desperate, and politically motivated move, Brother John Ashcroft has taken to the road. Setting up his tent in strategic cities to bring his Traveling Patriot Salvation Show to lost Americans. With apologies to Neil Diamond, 'pack up the babies and grab the old ladies.' But take 'em someplace safe, like an old-time religion tent revival, not Brother John's catechism on the USA Patriot Act.
And because the Reverend can't be everywhere, he has anointed his federal prosecutors -- those highly paid suits on the government payroll--and ordained them to preach the Gospel of John in their home towns. If you can't catch the Big Show at the Big Top, check your paper for local listings and times.
Oh! You better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
John Ashcroft is coming to town!
He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
gonna find out who's naughty or nice:
John Ashcroft is coming to town!
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