ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

Here comes the Judge ... the total wanker

While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a penis enlargement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to a complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter. Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped up his penis during a murder trial.
The AG's petition quotes Thompson as admitting that the pump was 'under the bench' during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a 'gag gift from a friend'.
Lisa Foster, the judges court reporter for the past 15 years -- but recently sacked, said she saw the judge use the penis pump 10 times, saw him masturbate while on the bench on a number of occasions, saw his penis 20 times and saw him rub lotion on his penis on a number of occasions, she once saw Judge Thompson hold up his penis and shave underneath it, the petition says.